Bom dia courageous! Sabah alkhayr (صباح الخير) grace! Don't stop doing good. GOD will take care of the rest. And you, son of man, do not fear them, and do not be afraid of their words; for you have briers and thorns near you, and you dwell among scorpions: do not fear their words, and do not be afraid of their faces, for they are a rebellious house." (Ezekiel 2:6, Darby)
Part 1: GOD is the same yesterday, today and forever. Justice and fairness are the foundation of his throne. Goodness and faithfulness are before his face. Love and Truth are inseparable.
Forgiveness is not denial
Forgiveness is not oblivion
Forgiveness does not cancel the judgment of GOD, the tribunal of CHRIST and the duty to repent.
Forgiveness does not approve evil, nor does it negate the right and duty to protect: to justify vs. to forgive vs. to excuse vs. to tolerate, to repent vs. to be sorry, guilt vs. responsibility, vengeance vs. justice.
Part 2: Healing is for those who believe, restoration is for those who obey.
5. Forgiveness is neither healing nor restoration of the soul: Healing + witnessing -> Restoration + strengthening others.
Part 3: The commandment is to love your neighbor, not to be intimate with your neighbor. No to bad company and toxic relationships. GOD does not divide, he separates.
6. Forgiveness is not reconciliation
7. Forgiveness is not a feeling
8. Forgiveness is not an obligation: it's a choice
Be kind to one another, compassionate, forgiving one another, as GOD forgave you in CHRIST.
(Ephesians 4:32, LSG)
JESUS said, "FATHER, forgive them, for they know not what they do. They divided his clothes among them, casting lots.
(Luke 23:34, LSG)
"Simon, Simon, Satan has claimed you, to sift you like wheat. But I have prayed for you, that your faith may not fail; and you, when you are converted, strengthen your brothers." (Luke 22:32, LSG)
Then he said to the Jews who had believed in him, "If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples; you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free."
(John 8:31-32, LSG)
6. Forgiveness is not reconciliation
❖"Do two men walk together, Without having agreed?" (Amos 3:3, LSG)
❖ "Alexander, the blacksmith, has done me much harm. The LORD will deal with him according to his deeds. Beware of him too, for he has strongly opposed our words." (2 Timothy 4:14, Segond 21)
❖ "Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all" (Romans 12:17-18, Segond 21)
❖ " If your brother is guilty toward you, go to him alone and show him his fault. If he listens to you, you've won your brother over. But if he refuses to listen to you, take one or two others with you, so that, as the Scripture says, "every matter may be settled on the testimony of two or three." But if he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the Church; and if he refuses to listen to the Church, consider him an unbeliever or a tax collector." (Matthew 18:15)
Forgiveness is unilateral and unconditional. Reconciliation is a mutual and conditional decision (Amos 3:3, Romans 12:17-18). GOD asks us to forgive everyone, without exception. It won't always be easy. But if GOD asks, then it will always be possible. To forgive is to trust GOD. It means leaving vengeance and retribution to him. To forgive is to refuse to hold on to anger and bitterness towards the offender. To forgive is not to relieve the offender of responsibility. Still less is it to conceal a crime.
To reconcile is to bind again, to restore what was bound, to bring together what was separated. Reconciliation is sometimes impossible. To be at peace with all is neither to be in the company of all, nor to be reconciled with all. To be at peace is not to be in conflict. To be reconciled is to be together again. Time and again in his word, GOD tells us to flee from bad company, fornicators, adulterers, wicked people, thieves, hot-tempered people, false repenters, false teachers, false prophets, etc. (Psalms 1:1, 1 Corinthians 5:11, 2 Thessalonians 3:18, 1 Corinthians 15:33, Proverbs 6:16-19, 1 Corinthians 6:18, 2 Timothy 3:4-8, Proverbs 23:6). There is no obligation to reconcile with those who do not repent and persist in their sins.
JESUS occasionally, I insist occasionally, ate with people of bad character, to call them to himself and exhort them to repent of their sins (Matthew 9:12-13). He was not continually with them. GOD doesn't ask us to trust everyone (Matthew 10:17, John 2:23-25).
GOD forgives all, but is not reconciled with all. GOD loves all men, but not all men are GOD's friends. GOD was not reconciled with the prophet Elijah and king Saul. There was no reconciliation between David and Saul. Abel might not have been murdered if he had stayed away from Cain. Before he died, JESUS said "FATHER, forgive them, for they know not what they do" (Luke 23:34). He forgave all, but he was not reconciled to all. For example, he was not reconciled to the Pharisees.
Many have learned to cover each other's sins without learning to resolve their conflicts with one another. Are you?
9 signs of sincere and genuine repentance :
Acknowledging the facts (before GOD and mankind)
The manifest fruit of repentance: walking in newness of life.
Willingness to recount facts and compare one's words with the testimony of others.
Acceptance of personal responsibility, without minimizing the offence or the wound of the offended party, and without trying to make others feel guilty.
Acceptance of personal responsibility without trying to justify it by the attitude of others or previous offenses.
Willingness to answer to authorities or jurisdictions legally established in the matter.
Respect for the decisions of legally established authorities and jurisdictions.
Payment of damages.
Return of stolen or illegally-held items.
8 pitfalls to avoid :
Not listening to the HOLY SPIRIT: building fortresses. Deciding without talking to GOD. Drawing conclusions based exclusively on personal feelings and experience.
Disempowerment (Ephesians 4:29-32, Ephesians 5:1-4, 1 Corinthians 10:13, Romans 8:28, Matthew 5:44-48, Proverbs 28:13).
Not acknowledging wrongs and not repenting for wrongs. Being hurt is no excuse for hurting. That goes for everyone.
Disobey GOD to be at peace with others. In other words, to be in conflict with GOD in order to be approved by men.
Confusing repentance, politeness and self-control.
Presume that a repentant person is necessarily willing or ready to be reconciled 🙂 A person can repent, without, however, wanting to be reconciled or being ready to work on themselves towards reconciliation. GOD will not cease to bless such a person.
Use silence or time as a means of manipulation (emotional blackmail), punishment or control. If you need time to accept and understand reality, to heal, reflect or decide, you have to take it and say so.
Being impatient, pretentious and hypocritical 🙂 More politely, believing you're perfect and that the world revolves around silk. Good habits take time to develop. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill. What's important to some may not be to others. We mustn't judge by appearances, nor demand of others what we don't do. It goes without saying that you can't expect a child to behave like an adult.
7. Forgiveness is not a feeling
❖ " This is how my heavenly FATHER will treat you, unless each of you forgives his brother with all his heart." (Matthew 18:35, LSG)
❖ " But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who mistreat and persecute you, so that you may be sons of your FATHER in heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the wicked and on the good, and sends rain on the righteous and on the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward do you deserve? Don't publicans do the same? And if you only greet your brothers, what extraordinary thing are you doing? Don't pagans do the same? So be perfect, just as your heavenly Father is perfect (Matthew 5: 44-48, LSG).
Some forgive before they are healed. Others forgive when they are on the road to recovery. The more a person knows about the word, the closer he or she will come to the first category. The deeper the hurt, the closer to the second category. Forgiveness is not a feeling. Compassion or love may lead us to forgive. But forgiveness is not a feeling.
8. Forgiveness is not an obligation: it's a choice
❖ "I take heaven and earth as witness against you today: I have set before you life and death, blessing and curse. Choose life so that you and your descendants may live." (Deuteronomy 30:19, Segond21)
❖ " Do not avenge yourselves, beloved, but let GOD's wrath work, for it is written: 'Vengeance is mine; I will give to each man what he deserves,' says the LORD. But if your enemy is hungry, give him something to eat; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink, for in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Romans 12:19-21, Segond 21)
Forgiving may be difficult, but with the LORD's help, it will always be possible. If you feel unable to forgive, ask JESUS to help you. I've written this series praying that these articles will be instruments to bring you closer to GOD, bring you clarity and free you from the devil's lies about forgiveness. Don't hesitate to let me know if these articles have done you any good. See you in a few weeks on what forgiveness is.
🙂 Until then, I leave you with an excellent exhortation from the apostle Paul: "The GOD of peace brought back from the dead our LORD JESUS, who became the great shepherd of the sheep through the blood of an eternal covenant. May he enable you to do every good work to fulfill his will, and may he do in you what is pleasing to him through JESUS CHRIST, to whom be glory for ever and ever! Amen! "(Hebrews 13:20-22, Segond 21)
** Bom dia = good morning in Portuguese
** Sabah alkhayr (صباح الخير) = good morning in Arabic
Few suggestions:
Confronting Without Offending: Positive and Practical Steps to Resolving Conflict, by Deborah Smith Pegues.
The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, by Ken Sande.
How to Forgive--When You Don't Feel Like It, by June Hunt.
Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward, by Dr Henry Cloud.
Boundaries: When to Yes how to say No, by Dr Henry Cloud and John Townsend.
Les langages de la réconciliation, de Gary Chapman et Jennifer Thomas.
The 5 Apology Languages: The Secret to Healthy Relationships, by Gary Chapman and Jennifer Thomas.
Love Like You've Never Been Hurt, by Jentezen Franklin.
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